iMPACT Wrestling Results – January 5, 2012
We start off with a recap of recent weeks as Bobby Roode knifes all his friends in the back and lays out Sting and Jeff Hardy to send a message. Speaking of Sting, he kicks off the show with this week’s opening promo and asks Jeff Hardy to join him in the ring. I guess he’s coming apart. HAHAHAHAHA. Stint tells Jeff he’s been very impressed with the way he’s rebuild the bridge of trust after his return from all the personal issues, and they have a lot in common because Sting’s been there and made bad chances too. Sting was given a second chance and did everything he could do with it, and he’s been literally watching creatures come out of the woodwork. Yes, literally. Sting gives Hardy his 100% endorsement, but the lovefest is interrupted by the World Champion, as well as Kurt Angle and Bully Ray, who showes off his thick muscular legs to the camera and proclaims that Dusty never needed abs. Roode says he doesn’t know aboot Angle and Bubba, but he almost threw up back there and asks Sting if he’s kidding and wants to know why he’s endorsing Hardy and not Bubba, Angle, or himself. He gets in Hardy’s face and mocks him until James Storm comes out with Abyss. Storm says it’s fine if Angle makes fun of him since people have been doing it since day one, but if he wants to go to Storm’s hometown and beat up his friends, he wants to say that he looked into Angle’s eyes a few weeks ago and saw a man who wasn’t intimidated by anything, but now he looks into Angle’s eyes and sees that he’s scared because it only takes one Last Call superkick to knock him out. Abyss likes beer too, and he snatches the microphone out of Angle’s hand and tells Angle and especially Bubba to shut up because he and the rest of Immortal took advantage of him and now they realize they need him, but he doesn’t need Immortal anymore because all he needs is Bubba in the ring at Genesis. He’s got Bubba in a Monster’s Ball match and he’s going to make him pay an suffer for all the sins of Immortal.
Sting says that it looks like we have a main event, a six man tag with the three babyfaces against the three dastardly heels.
Also coming up tonight, Rob Van Dam takes on Gunner, and the finals of the Wild Card tag team tournament! Plus, the Knockouts Tag Team Title is on the line…NEXT!
Madison Rayne and Gail Kim are checking each other out in their bikinis at the pool earlier today when they find Traci Brooks hanging out in the hot tub. Madison gets in her face and Traci attacks her, but Gail jumps into the pool and the two of them try and drown her until Mickie James, also clad in a bikini, jumps in and chases them off. I don’t think they could possibly have gotten more gratuitous than that.
Knockouts Tag Team Title Match: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne vs Mickie James & Traci Brooks
Traci goes after Gail and knocks her out to the floor before the bell and then goes outside herself to pummel her while Mickie and Madison duke it out in the ring. Traci whips Gail hard into the steps as Mickie gets a hanging neckbreaker and dumps her out to the floor while Traci sends Gail back inside. Mickie and Traci ping pong Gail with right hands until Traci lays her out with a clothesline. Gail rolls out to the apron so Traci launches Madison at her in such a way that she spears Gail out to the floor and the heels are in trouble as we go to commercial.
We’re back and Mickie is casually monkey flipping Madison out of the corner, then snapmares Madison and blatantly runs right over to Gail so she could kick Mickie from the apron. Traci runs over and yanks Gail off the apron and lays her out again as Madison ties Mickie up with a three quarter nelson in the ring. Madison goes for some kind of kick, but Mickie catches her foot and yanks her down into an awkward split. Gail runs in to try and make the save, but Traci spears her out of her boots and Mickie gets an O’Connor roll for 2. Madison shuts Mickie down with a rear chinlock and Mickie tries to escape, but Madison takes her out with a bulldog and tags out to Gail, who comes in and cheapshots Traci off the apron, but Mickie slips past Gail and makes a hot tag. Traci comes in like a house of fire and throws Gail across the ring by the hair, then nails a series of clotheslines and flattens Gail with a clothesline for 2. Madison comes in to interfere, so Mickie comes off the top rope and takes her out with the flying crotch to the face as Gail hits Eat Da Feet on Traci for the win.
Winners: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne
Ric Flair is backstage telling Gunner how awesome he is and what a star he’s becoming because he puts people in ambulances. Tonight, they’re going to put someone in the hospital again, and…oops, Sting pops up from behind and says that RVD is going out to the ring alone and tells Flair he can’t go out with Gunner. Flair says Sting’s pushing his buttons, so Sting says that’s what he’s trying to do and they can watch the match together from the back.
Eric Young is frantically searching around for ODB because they’re in the Wild Card Tournament tonight and they’re two crazy kids in love. The Mystery Cameraman says they’re out of the tournament, but EY just runs off looking for ODB again. Speaking of the tournament, the finals to determine Matt Morgan & Crimson’s challengers at Genesis is up next, and Magnus is backstage firing Joe up by saying that there’s no more being overlooked because they’re going to go out there and win tonight. AJ and Kazarian say that unlike all the other teams in the tournament, they like each other and will have each other’s backs and that’s how you win tag team titles.
Garett Bischoff is backstage telling Sting how much it means to him to be in the same ring with the TNA wrestlers and he’ll make Sting proud tonight. Sting asks him why he’s wearing a referee shirt and he says because he’s going to referee the next match. Sting tears the shirt off him and asks what he’s thinking, and he says Garett’s not a referee…he’s a wrestler. He hands Garett a pair of boots and welcomes him to the roster.
Eric Young is still backstage looking for ODB and wanders into Gail Kim and Madison Rayne’s locker room. They yell at and eventually attack him, so Young stuffs Madison into a locker and runs off.
Gunner vs Rob Van Dam
Feeling out process to start but Gunner quickly drives RVD down with a shoulderblock and takes his head off with a clothesline. RVD with a high kick to the face and a springboard thrust kick followed by an Asai moonsault for 2. RVD comes off the ropes, but slides outside the ring to throw Gunner’s flow as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and Gunner is still working RVD over with heavy hitting blows. He whips RVD to the corner, but charges right into Van Dam’s boot and eats another top rope thrust kick. Gunner quickly regains control and chokes RVD on the ropes, but RVD gets the stepover leg lariat and comes back with a quick flurry of kicks and a clothesline, followed by a standing moonsault for 2. Gunner starts to fire back but RVD just dropkicks him square in the face and hits Rolling Thunder. Gunner rolls outside the ring before RVD can go for a cover, RVD pops out to the apron and Gunner goes to do the spot where he yanks RVD’s ankle and RVD falls face first on the ring apron, but RVD gets his foot caught in the ring apron on the way down and falls backward in a really sick bump. Gunner pulls back the ring mats as the bell rings…
…but RVD backdrops him right onto the concrete in another sick bump. He slings Gunner over the guardrail and goes for the leg lariat off the apron, but Gunner moves out of the way and RVD goes splat again in sick bump #3. Gunner tries to make it four by going for a piledriver on the floor, but D-Lo Brown, Al Snow, and Pat Kenney come out and stop him and send him to the back.
James Storm, Abyss, and Jeff Hardy are backstage and Storm says they have the advantage tonight because they’re not scared of Angle, Bubba, or Roode. Hardy says that tonight’s going to be a great warmup for Genesis, and Abyss says he’s gladly out of Immortal and will take care of them tonight. Meanwhile, Roode, Angle, and Bubba are elsewhere backstage throwing out a similar promo and then Bubba pops me by plugging tomorrow night’s house show where he’s going to take care of RVD. I love it when people make house shows seem important, big thumbs up for that one.
Back to the ring for our next match…
Austin Aries & Kid Kash vs Zema Ion & Jesse Sorensen
These are the four men who will be in the X Division Title match at Genesis. Ion and Sorensen argue until Kash jumps Sorensen from behind and unloads on him. Sorensen comes back with a forearm off the ropes, a high knee, and a dropkick, but Ion tags himself in and totally snaps Sorensen’s momentum. Kash congratulates him on his excellent strategy by beating him up and tagging out to Aries to hit a double foot sweep and then just pummel Ion with punches. Ion gets up and yanks Aries down before stomping on his face, but Aries pops up and just launches Ion out to the floor and nearly blows through him with the heat seeking missile. He jogs around the ring with his hand raised in victory as Kash hits a somersault dive and sends him back to the inside where Aries hits the pendulum elbow for 2. Ion scoots over to his corner and tags out to Sorensen, who takes Aries out with another high knee and dropkick. Kash comes in and nails Sorensen from behind, then tags in and puts the boots to Sorensen in the corner and hits a release vertical suplex for 2. Sorensen ducks a double clothesline and sends them crashing into each other, then Ion hot tags himself back in and comes over the top rope with a tornado DDT on Aries. Ion with a twisting crossbody out of the corner for 2, then Sorensen tags himself in and takes Aries and Kash out with a double crossbody off the top. Sorensen with a neckbreaker for each man, sends Kash out to the floor, and nearly overshoots a slingshot crossbody and brains himself on the floor, but regains control before hitting Kash and then comes back in and lays Aries out. He goes up top, but Ion tags himself in yet again and misses a 450 splash, so Sorensen tags himself in. Aries didn’t see the tag and goes for the brainbuster on Ion, but Sorensen comes in with the twisting DDT thing and pins Aries.
Winners: Jesse Sorensen & Zema Ion
AJ and Kazarian are backstage getting ready for the match and Kazarian looks torn about something, but AJ tells him it’s time and they leave. After they’re gone, we’re still in the room and see a pleased looking Christopher Daniels come out from where Kazarian was and apparently knowing something we all don’t…but can probably suspect.
EY finally finds ODB backstage and tells her to get ready for their match, and ODB says it’s like March Madness: one and done. Young says it’s not March, it’s January and to get her gear on. ODB grabs EY and takes him down, straddles him, and then kisses him before getting up and walking off. EY is smiling ear to ear and says “I KNEW IT!”
Wild Card Tournament Finals: AJ Styles & Frankie Kazarian vs Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus
AJ and Joe start us off and Joe easily backs AJ to the corner and opens up with straight right hands and puts the boots to him as well. Joe tags out to Magnus, who comes in with right hands of his own and then a side backbreaker for 2. Joe back in and lays in a hard chop, kneestrikes to the ribs, and twists AJ into the abdominal stretch. AJ escapes and tags out to Kazarian, but Joe lays Kazarian out and tags Magnus in. Kazarian and AJ hit a double team leg lariat and AJ covers for 2, then comes off the ropes with the leaping kneedrop for another 2. Kazarian in with a textbook dropkick for 2, then AJ in again and hits a snapmare and indy kick to the back, then Kazarian in again and he gets caught as Joe hits an inverted atomic drop, Magnus with a big boot, and Joe with a back senton for 2. Joe unloads with more right hands and does the snapmare, chop to the back, kick to the chest, and leaping kneedrop for 2. Magnus in and whips Kazarian hard to the corner, but misses a charge and Kazarian manages to tag out to Magnus. He hits a series of clotheslines and the springboard forearm, Magnus blocks the Styles Clash but AJ hits the Pelle Kick as Daniels comes out to the top of the ramp. AJ goes to make the tag, but Kazarian drops off the ring apron and Joe immediately charges in and hits AJ with a leaping kneestrike in the corner, then snapmares AJ for a top rope elbowdrop from Magnus and covers AJ for 3.
Winners: Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus
A very conflicted looking Kazarian goes back up the apron and walks off with Daniels as AJ lays at ringside staring after them in disbelief.
We go backstage to Matt Morgan and Crimson, who say they’re glad the tournament is over because now they know who’s signing their own death certificate at Genesis. Joe and Magnus walk in and tell them to kiss already and get it over with, and Joe tells Morgan to get a nice case for the belt because he doesn’t want Morgan getting any scratches on it before Joe takes it home. Of course a brawl breaks out, and D-Lo, Snow, and Kenney pull double duty by coming in to break them up and tell them to save it for the PPV.
Mike and Taz run down the card for this weekend’s Genesis PPV, then we’re off to the ring for our main event!
Jeff Hardy, Abyss & James Storm vs Robert Roode, Bully Ray & Kurt Angle
Storm and Bubba start us off and Bubba quickly backs off through the ropes to avoid the aggresive nature of Storm, and then cheapshots Abyss out on the apron. He finally ties up with Storm and takes him to the corner, tries to cheapshot him, but Storm ducks and nails Bubba. Storm starts working over the arm and tags out to Abyss, and Bubba quickly backs off to a neutral corner. He tags out to Roode, who looked none too pleased to be getting in the ring with the big guy, but comes in nevertheless and spits at Hardy out on the apron. Roode with a kick to the gut and some right hands to Abyss, but he can’t whip Abyss to the corner and instead runs right into a big boot from Abyss. Abyss goes to the ropes but Bubba kicks him from the outside and Roode is able to ram Abyss to the heel corner where he is pummeled by Bubba and Angle as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and Angle is working over the knee of Abyss and drives him down to the mat by simply kicking the knee out from under him. Roode comes in for a double team, but Abyss fights them off and takes them out with a double clothesline. Abyss tags out to Storm and he comes in and cleans house, then pairs off with Angle and takes him out with a flying forearm. Storm boots Roode in the face and charges Angle, but Bubba takes him out with a clothesline from the apron. Bubba tags in and rams Storm to the corner and lays a hard chop into Storm’s chest. Bubba with a delayed vertical suplex for 2 and then hits a big elbowdrop for another 2. Angle tags in and goes for a clothesline, but Storm boots Angle’s arm and hits a Russian legsweep and both men are down. Angle tags out to Roode, but Storm makes the hot tag to Hardy and now Hardy is in the ring cleaning house on Roode. Hardy hits the Twist of Fate but Bubba breaks up the cover, and now all hell has broken loose in the ring with all six men going at it. Finally the referee has enough and calls for the bell.
The fight continues as Abyss rams Angle into the steps on the outside and Storm batters Bubba, but Roode and Hardy are alone in the ring and Hardy hits another Twist of Fate and goes for the Swanton, but Bubba shoves Hardy off the corner and crotches him on the top rope. Storm comes in and hits a Codebreaker on Roode, but Angle comes in and lowblows Storm before he can hit the superkick. Angle hits a crappy superkick of his own, but Abyss comes in and flattens both Angle and Roode, yet falls victim to Bubba as he comes in from behind and lays Abyss out with the heavy chain. Now the heels are firmly in control and are just stomping the faces into mere smudges on the mat. Bubba dumps Abyss to the floor and hangs him with the chain from inside the ring as Roode locks Hardy in the Crippler Crossface and Angle has Storm in the Angle Lock, and we’re off the air.