Original post found at www.illegalforeignobject.com There is no doubt the WWE panders to a younger demographic. I respect the hell out of John Cena, but he’s the biggest star in the business, not only because of his tireless work ethic and positive attitude, but because WWE can market him as a safe option for kids. There’s certainly nothing at all wrong with that, as they did the very same thing with Hulk Hogan in the 80’s, becoming a global juggernaut in the process. It… [Continue Reading]

TNA iMPACT Wrestling Results 29/12/11 We begin this week’s episode of Impact with a look back at the Jarretts being sent packing by Sting. Then we see Madison Rayne setting up a ‘match’ between Tara and Brooke Tessmacher only to see them attack Madison. Gail Kim and Madison Rayne make their way to the ring. Madison wants Tara and Tessmacher to get to the ring using as few pronouns as possible. They make their way to the ring and they stand across the ring… [Continue Reading]

Hulk Hogan is pacing around backstage with a pipe in hand, waiting for the Network rep to show up, but Bischoff tries to talk him out of doing anything drastic and just play the game. Hogan thinks it over and obliges. We then go to a recap of last week’s Karen Jarrett-Velvet Sky confrontation and then Kurt Angle’s declaration that the Chosen One will be here this week, as well as Sting telling Hulk Hogan that the Network rep will be here this week…. [Continue Reading]

We start off by recapping last week’s memorable incident that saw Kurt Angle dump horse doody on Karen Angle and lay Jeff Jarrett out, as well as Hogan’s continued frustration with the Network. We head out to the ring where Karen Angle has called all the TNA Knockouts to the ring. She says that her crazy ex-husband has hired some slut to take her out, so before anything can happen, she called them out here to try and find out who Kurt’s secret weapon… [Continue Reading]

We open the show with a look back at Lockdown and the physical nature of the Jarrett-Angle match and Lethal Lockdown matches and the outcome of the World Title match. We head to the Impact Zone where AJ Styles kicks off the show in a cage, surrounded by tables and chairs and kendo sticks, and tells Bully Ray that he thought he got rid of him, but he was dead wrong. He came back for one reason: to take Bully Ray out, and he… [Continue Reading]

We are live on tape from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida and your announcers are Mike ‘I’ll have what Angelina is drinking’ Tenay and Taz. We begin with a look back at last week’s invitation by ‘Sting’ to entice Ken Anderson to get attacked by Rob Van Dam. We then see Van Dam and Sting’s confrontation in the ring. Then we see Hulk Hogan setting up the match between Sting and Rob Van Dam. We see the building of the dastardly plan between Hulk… [Continue Reading]

We kick it off with a recap of last week’s cage match and subsequent return of Christopher Daniels. To the Impact Zone we go, as Fortune and Daniels make their entrance, with Daniels getting a nice welcome back chant. He says he appreciates it, but he has to admit that his relationship with TNA has been rocky because he’s been in and out of favor so many times, but that’s okay because it’s the wrestling business. But there’s one thing more important to him… [Continue Reading]

Mr. Anderson is dragging Earl Hebner to the ring. He wants Earl to tell everybody that he was the one that rang the bell and disqualified him which gave the match to Rob Van Dam. Earl says his shirt means authority and respect. If he puts his hands on him again he’s suspended for 90 days. If he doesn’t like it then tough s—-. Anderson argues it’s not true and he better reverse the disqualification right now or he promises Hebner will regret it…. [Continue Reading]

We start off with a video package recapping last week’s interactions between Ken Anderson and Hulk Hogan, which includes about three thousand instances of the word asshole. Speaking of Anderson, he comes out with Dr Shubert from the University of Wisconsin and reminisces about how he never paid attention in Shubert’s class because he was busy planning to screw the girl who sat next to him. He says that Hogan and Bischoff’s math isn’t up to par, so he brought Dr Shubert out to… [Continue Reading]

Impact starts with Sting in the ring with both the new and old TNA Championship belts. Sting also has a new red shirt. He says he has something to get off his chest before Hulk Hogan’s show starts. He wants Hogan and Eric Bischoff to get out here and face him. Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff come to the ring. Sting gives the Hardy belt to Hogan and says this is theirs. Hogan tosses it out of the ring. Sting asks Hogan how he… [Continue Reading]

We open the show with a recap of last week’s big event where we found out Hulk Hogan won the lawsuit and is now 100% owner of TNA, Kurt Angle ruined the Jarrett renewal ceremony, and Sting made his surprise(?) return to beat Jeff Hardy for the TNA World Title. We’re still in Fayetteville, and it’s time for our show opening promo with new World Champion Sting, who is STILL carrying around that ridiculous belt. He says he’s felt like he’s accomplished a lot… [Continue Reading]

Dixie Carter starts the show in the ring, emotionally thanking the fans who have reached out to her online with their moral support. The support over the last few weeks has meant the world to her, but she’s here tonight to share the outcome of the legal proceedings that started last November. While things didn’t go as she had hoped, she can promise us- Immortal’s music hits, and Eric Bischoff comes out with his crew. Bischoff mockingly wipes tears from his eye and says… [Continue Reading]

We open with a recap of last week as Jeff Hardy pinned Rob Van Dam on TV and Ric Flair returned to TNA and betrayed Fortune to the shock of nobody, leading to AJ Styles challenging Ric Flair to a match we’ll be lucky to see…TONIGHT! Ken Anderson comes out for our opening promo, bringing a steel chair with him and sitting on it in the middle of the ring. He doesn’t care who’s calling the shots around here, whether it’s Hogan, Bischoff, Dixie… [Continue Reading]

We open up with a look back at Against All Odds, as Jeff Jarrett beat Kurt Angle clean and Angle left his shoes in the middle of the ring and walked away, Jeff Hardy regained the TNA World Title by beating Ken Anderson in a Ladder Match. That all leads into tonight, as Rob Van Dam will challenge the new champion for the TNA World Title in the main event. We head to the Impact Zone as Eric Bischoff leads Immortal to the ring… [Continue Reading]

We open the show with comments from various members of the TNA roster from this past weekend’s house shows down south, then we go to the Impact Zone as Eric Bischoff comes to the ring with the remaining members of Immortal. He says that if anyone thinks that Immortal is going to take a step back because of what happened with Fortune, it’s not going to happen because he’s Eric Bischoff and he’s spent the last 15 years building stars and companies and changing… [Continue Reading]

We open up with a look back at last week as Scott Steiner returned to TNA and saved Kurt Angle and Crimson from a beatdown by Immortal. We get comments from various members of Immortal daring Steiner to fight them like a man, and then we got comments from Jeff Hardy and Ken Anderson discussing their rematch on the big February 3rd Impact. We then go right to the ring, no entrances or anything, as Eric Bischoff is in the ring with Immortal and… [Continue Reading]

We open with a recap of last week’s ongoing situation between Kurt Angle and Jeff & Karen Jarrett, culminating with Immortal beating Kurt down and then Abyss coming out of the entranceway and collapsing with Janice buried in his back, and then Crimson coming out to warn Immortal that they’re coming. We head to the Impact Zone as Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring to address the crowd, telling us that he came out here to speak with the Jarretts in peace… [Continue Reading]